Politeness levels: not tú/usted, a different axis
Plain, です・ます and keigo: who expects which, and why tú/usted misleads
Three levels, one wrong map
Spanish and French speakers arrive with a two-way switch, tú/usted, tu/vous, and map it onto Japanese: plain form is tú, です・ます is usted. The map is wrong in three ways. First, the choice lives on the verb ending of every sentence, not on a pronoun you can quietly avoid. Second, Japanese has three working levels, not two. Third, the trigger is not age or intimacy alone but whether you belong to the same group (家族, 会社, 学校) and who is listening.
The three levels
| Level | Looks like | Use it with | Closest feeling |
|---|---|---|---|
| Plain (普通形) | 行く, 行かない, 食べた, 高い, 学生だ | Family, close friends, children, your diary, and inside longer sentences (と思う, から, 時) | tú among friends, but also the neutral written form of news and essays |
| Polite (です・ます) | 行きます, 食べました, 高いです, 学生です | Strangers, shops, colleagues, teachers, anyone you have just met; the default for an adult learner | usted / vous, but used far more widely |
| Keigo (敬語) | いらっしゃいます, 召し上がります (尊敬語) · 参ります, いただきます (謙譲語) | Customers, clients, senior people from other groups, interviews, formal service | No Romance equivalent; a waiter's register, but built into the grammar |
The concrete cases
| Situation | What you produce | Correct | Why |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ordering a coffee | ✗ コーヒー、くれる？ | ✓ コーヒーをお願いします | Shops are usted territory whatever your age; the staff answer in keigo |
| To a friend after months of friendship | ✗ 明日、映画を見ますか。 | ✓ 明日、映画見る？ | Staying in です・ます with a friend feels distant, like refusing the tuteo |
| Quoting inside a sentence | ✗ 雨が降りますと思います | ✓ 雨が降ると思います | Only the final verb carries politeness; embedded verbs stay plain |
| Talking about your boss to a client | ✗ 田中部長はいらっしゃいません | ✓ 田中はおりません | Your boss is inside your group: humble him to outsiders and drop the title |
| Talking to your boss | ✗ 部長、今日来る？ | ✓ 部長、今日いらっしゃいますか | Inside the company, seniors get 尊敬語; plain form reads as insolence |
| About yourself in keigo | ✗ 私は明日いらっしゃいます | ✓ 私は明日参ります | 尊敬語 raises the other person; you never raise yourself. Use 謙譲語 |
| Saying no politely | ✗ いいえ、できません。 | ✓ すみません、ちょっと… | Politeness is also indirectness; a flat refusal is rude even in です・ます |
| Saying 'you' to a teacher | ✗ あなたは学生の時… | ✓ 先生は学生の時… | あなた is not usted; use the name or title, or nothing at all |
Rules that survive contact with real people
- Default to です・ます and let the other person move first. A Japanese friend switching to plain form is the equivalent of nos tuteamos; you may follow, not lead.
- Uchi/soto beats age. A 25-year-old client gets keigo; your 60-year-old boss is described humbly to that client. In Spanish the boss stays usted everywhere; in Japanese the register flips with the listener.
- Do not mix inside one sentence. 降りますと思います is the classic learner tell; polite endings belong at the end.
- Keigo is vocabulary, not conjugation. Memorise the dozen special verbs (いらっしゃる, おっしゃる, 召し上がる, 参る, 申す, いただく, 伺う) and use お＋ます-stem＋になる (respect) or お＋ます-stem＋する (humility) for the rest.
Common mistakes
- です・ます is the safe default; switch to plain only after the other person does, like waiting to be offered the tuteo.
- Only the last verb of the sentence carries politeness: 降ると思います, never 降りますと思います.
- Uchi/soto beats rank: your own boss is humbled (おります, 申します) when you speak to a client.
- 尊敬語 raises others, 謙譲語 lowers you: いらっしゃいます is never about yourself.
- あなた is not usted; address people by name or title (田中さん, 先生) or drop the pronoun.
- A polite refusal is indirect: ちょっと… does what a blunt できません cannot.
Comments
Write a comment