すみません

When to use it

One word, three jobs.

1. Light apology. Bumping into someone, being two minutes late, stepping on a foot: すみません、遅れました.
2. Getting attention. Calling the waiter, asking a stranger the way, opening a question to a colleague: すみません、駅はどこですか.
3. Thanks for trouble taken. Someone picks up your glove, holds the lift, brings you a gift: すみません、ありがとうございます.

The logic behind all three: 済みません, ‘this is not settled’, I owe you something. For a real apology use 申し訳ありません / 申し訳ございません; for a personal apology to friends and family, ごめん / ごめんなさい. In fast speech you will hear すいません; write すみません.

Examples

• すみません、駅はどこですか。（すみません、えき は どこ です か）— Excuse me, where is the station?
• 遅れてすみません。（おくれて すみません）— Sorry I’m late.
• わざわざ持ってきてくれて、すみません。（わざわざ もって きて くれて、すみません）— Thanks for going to the trouble of bringing it.

Traps for Spanish, English and French speakers

• Spanish ‘perdón’ already does apology and attention-getting, so Spanish speakers get two thirds of すみません for free. The missing third is gratitude: when someone goes out of their way for you, ‘gracias’ alone sounds light. Japanese acknowledges the trouble first (すみません) and then thanks (ありがとうございます).
• English splits ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’, so English speakers hunt for a separate ‘excuse me’ word and pick 失礼します. 失礼します announces that you are entering, leaving or interrupting; it does not call a waiter. The waiter is すみません.
• English ‘I’m sorry’ also expresses sympathy (‘I’m sorry to hear that’, ‘sorry for your loss’). すみません never does: it admits fault. Sympathy is 残念ですね, 大変ですね, or ご愁傷様です at a funeral.
• ごめんなさい is not a politer すみません. It is more personal and slightly childish: right for family and friends, wrong for a client, and it cannot get attention or say thanks. Only すみません does all three.